by Donald Jeffries, “I Protest”:

Life imitating art or art imitating life?

I watch a lot of movies. I used to watch a lot of television. And I seem to notice things that most others don’t. My tendency to critically question everything ensures that many people close to me, especially my female loved ones, leave the room when I’m watching something. The males, however, appreciate my running commentary.

At one point, I wanted to write a script for a prospective sitcom or film comedy, which incorporated all the common tropes seen onscreen. But where would I send it? Hollywood doesn’t take unsolicited screenplays or manuscripts. Half the restaurant servers in Tinseltown are peddling them. And they can’t get someone to read their work, except perhaps if they wait on the right big shot who finds them physically attractive enough to invite them to the casting couch. I’ve never been in a position to wait on anyone who’d be willing to consider my work in return for sexual favors. I probably wouldn’t be their type, anyways. And now I’m way too old for any of them.