ATLANTA, GA — The Center for Disease Control warned Americans this week to resume all contact precautions due to a new and rapidly-spreading “Electionyearicron” Covid variant.

CDC director Bob Cohen spoke with reporters Wednesday to announce the new variant. “‘Electionyearicron’ is thought to be the most disruptive variant yet, and will be here all through 2024 until approximately November sixth,” said Mr. Cohen. “So everyone, stay home and get ready to vote by mail!”

They’re Panicking Now!

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September 3, 2023

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from Mark Dice:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

FIRED FOR NOT BEING GAY

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June 12, 2023

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from Mark Dice:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

DC Police Say They May Never Discover Who Left Bag Of Cocaine Labeled ‘Property Of H. Biden’ At White House

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July 7, 2023

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from The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press conference this morning, interim DC Police Chief Ashan Benedict said that while they have top investigators on the case, they may never know exactly who left a bag of cocaine labeled “Property of H. Biden” in the White House while Hunter Biden was there.

“Listen, this is a difficult case to solve,” said Benedict to reporters. “The initial ‘H’ could be anyone. Hank, Herman, Harry… the possibilities are endless. We will do our best to solve this, but we need the American people to know that this extraordinarily difficult case might just be unsolvable forever.”