Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Stopped Clock Named CNN’s Most Accurate Reporter


from The Babylon Bee:

ATLANTA, GA—CNN has given a special award to the clock hanging in one of its studios, naming it the news station’s most accurate reporter. The clock, which has been stuck showing the time to be 1:11 for the past three years, was found to surpass every other CNN reporter in how often it got the news exactly right.

“The wall clock is an inspiration to us all,” said CNN president Jeffrey Zucker. “Now, it doesn’t always get things right—but nobody is perfect. Still, twice a day, that clock absolutely nails the facts. That’s way better than anyone else we have.”



from Mark Dice:

Neighbors With ‘Black Lives Matter’, ‘Asian Lives Matter’, And ‘Hispanic Lives Matter’ Yard Signs Getting Awfully Close To ‘All Lives Matter’


from The Babylon Bee:

ANN ARBOR, MI—According to sources, some residents of a local upper-class suburb have accumulated “Black Lives Matter”, “Hispanic Lives Matter”, and “Asian Lives Matter” signs in their perfectly manicured front yards. Experts warn, however, that with the addition of more people groups every day, they are getting dangerously close to saying “All Lives Matter.”

“We need to guard against this,” said local sociology professor Dr. Cam Duncatilly as she added a “Trans Lives Matter” and “Indigenous Lives Matter” sign in her front yard. “We have to make sure that as we add more minorities, we stop short of the damnable heresy of ‘All Lives Matter.'”

Trump To Deliver State Of The Union In Scuba Gear To Avoid Drowning In Liberal Tears


from The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON D.C.—After completely mopping the floor with the snowflake libs on the Senate floor, the Trump administration fears that he is at high risk of drowning in a literal tidal wave of liberal tears during Tuesday’s State of the Union address.

“The risk for liberal tear downpour is always high any time Trump speaks,” said climatologist Dr. Herbert Thwayne. “But under these conditions, the risk is driven up exponentially. Not only is there going to be a record amount of crying like a bunch of babies, but the melting snowflakes are going to cause a rapid rise in the sea level. It’s smart for the president to take any precautions necessary.”

Investment advice from Paris Hilton


by Simon Black, Sovereign Man:

Angelina Umansky, a 39-year-old spa owner from San Francisco, was visiting a friend in Miami two weeks ago when she heard about a new condo development downtown.

Hoping to find a vacation home, but worried that others were interested, too, Ms. Umansky arrived at the sales office at 8 a.m. the day after seeing some model units.

About 50 other buyers were already in line. Two hours later, a sales agent summoned her and said she had four minutes to decide which unit to buy. She acted fast, offering $350,000 for a two-bedroom, two-bathroom unit.

Ms. Umansky thinks she got a bargain; when she called on behalf of a friend less than eight hours later, she was told the asking price on a unit like hers had climbed to $380,000, a nearly 9 percent price increase.

Above is the opening story from a New York Times article published February 3, 2005, pretty much the very TOP of the biggest real estate bubble in history.

But very few people realized at the time that the market was such a bubble, even though it was exhibiting all the classic signs:

People were literally lining up to buy overpriced assets. Nobody thought you could lose money in real estate back then.

And prices kept rising. Quickly.

A central Florida homebuilder, Transeastern Homes, used to hold sales events at hotels and convention centers.

Prospective customers would spend five minutes looking at a subdivision map before buying. The company would announce price increases – up to 16 a day– over a loudspeaker, putting the crowd into a frenzy.

There are stories of dozens of condo buyers camping overnight in New York City for a chance to buy an incomprehensibly expensive unit.

Fights would break out between agents at showings. Some customers would bribe builders for a chance to buy a unit.

But one of the biggest signs of the top of the real estate market was “investors” flipping pre-construction condos…

Someone would put a hefty down payment on a condo before the building even started construction.

They had no intention of ever living there. They just wanted to flip to another buyer at a higher price, often just a few weeks later, when the building was slightly further along in construction.

According to the Times, a 1,000-unit Miami condo building sold out in 36 hours back in 2004. At least 50{5f621241b214ad2ec6cd4f506191303eb2f57539ef282de243c880c2b328a528} of the buyers were flippers.

This is the type of behavior that happens in a mania– people stop buying assets because of the investment’s strong fundamentals. They have no intention to hold. They just want to flip quickly and make easy money.

The flippers have returned today.

Instead of pre-construction condos, however, today’s flippers are participating in the most frenzied sector in the market: initial coin offerings (ICOs).

If you’re not familiar, an ICO is a way for a business to raise capital from investors.

Unlike traditional ways of raising capital, though, like venture capital funds or angel investors, businesses raise capital through an ICO by selling a digital ‘token’.

These tokens sometimes represent ownership in the business. But more often than not, the tokens confer nothing more than a prepayment for the company’s product or service.

ICOs are sort of like crowdfunding meets cryptofinance.

Imagine that you’re surfing your favorite crowdfunding site and come across a business selling some new Lego toy.

You pay $20 to pre-order the Lego toy, becoming one of the company’s many crowdfunders.

With an ICO, the company would issue you a token, representing that you are entitled to one of its Lego toys at some point in the future, presuming they ever get around to making them.

But here’s where things get strange-

These tokens trade actively in the market; speculators buy and sell these tokens, and prices have been rising at an unimaginable pace.

So it would be like taking your Lego toy token, and then re-selling it at 10x the price you paid only a few days later.

Is the Lego toy really 10x more valuable? Probably not. But this is common among ICOs.

Because of these huge returns, ICOs are attracting more and more speculators looking to make a quick buck.

Most have no idea what they’re buying, or why. They don’t care about the fundamentals of the business. Or the risk. They’re flippers.

Now hedge funds are starting to flip ICOs too.

Read More @

Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout


from The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move to make purchasing congresspeople easier and faster for lobbyists, Congress voted to approve a new measure that calls for congresspeople to wear barcodes on their foreheads so lobbyists, activists, and corporations can simply scan them and self-checkout.

Self-checkout machines will be installed at all exits of the Capitol Building, so once they’ve added congresspeople to their cart, lobbyists can pay right on the way out.



from Mark Dice:

Dennis Rodman Saves the World


from Mark Dice:

Counting COVID #1HitSong


by Ryan Parker, @RyanPSongs:

James Woods DESTROYS Geraldo Rivera For Attacking the 2nd Amendment in Viral Tweet


by Chrisina Laila, The Gateway Pundit:

The 2nd Amendment has been under fierce attack even more so since Stephen Paddock unleashed a barrage of bullets on concert attendees in Vegas Sunday night, killing 59 people and injuring over 500.

Hillary Clinton and other Democrats immediately politicized the shooting and called for more gun control. Misinformation about what type of firearm Paddock used spread like wildfire.

Geraldo Rivera sent out a tweet attacking the 2nd Amendment and James Woods destroyed him in his usual snarky fashion.

Geraldo tweeted, “Sorry mates I love guns but If the 2d Amendment really allows psychos to buy machine guns with silencers then the 2d Amendment sucks”

The Vegas shooter neither used a machine gun nor used a silencer. Furthermore, ‘psychos’ and terrorists can easily purchase or rent a vehicle and plow over people as we have seen numerous times (Nice, France for one example).

Every time there is a mass shooting, the left comes out to attack our 2nd Amendment rights.

James Woods replied, “As a purported journalist, could you not simply do research on the facts to prevent embarrassing yourself like this? It’s not difficult.” (screenshot below)

Read More @