Saturday, October 16, 2021

In Major Disaster For Humanity, Facebook Comes Back Online

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from The Babylon Bee:

WORLD—In one of the worst disasters humanity has faced since the dawn of civilization, Facebook and Instagram are now back online.

“Yeah, it’s kind of awkward that Facebook is back now because humanity already moved on,” said Jane Earstin, local Instagram influencer. “We had already made peace with a world without these horrible social networks, and we were just starting to realize how sweet a life it was with them gone. Then suddenly, Facebook’s all like, ‘Hey guys! I’m back! You miss me?’ Ugh. Awkward.”

It All Makes Sense Now

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from Mark Dice:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

CDC Cautions Against Taking The Red Pill

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from The Babylon Bee:

ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has cautioned Americans against taking the red pill, as it can lead to severe side effects such as “realizing the truth about the way our society is manipulated by the elites” and “spending all your time on YouTube watching Jordan Peterson videos.”

According to the CDC, many are overdosing on red pills, which are a black market drug that has never been approved by the American government.

DO IT!

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from Mark Dice:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

Uh-Oh: Vials Of Mysterious Substance At Wuhan Lab Labeled ‘Save For 2024 Election’

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from The Babylon Bee:

WUHAN—Well, this can’t be good: an investigative journalist—a real one, not a “journalist” who complains about pronouns in videogames on Twitter—managed to infiltrate the Wuhan Institute of Virology. What they saw concerned them: for one thing, there appeared to be multiple vials of a mysterious substance, all of them labeled “Save for 2024 election.”

Give us your huddled masses yearning to be vaccinated

by Jon Rappoport, No More Fake News:

And once we receive the genetic RNA shot, and suffer the consequences, those who survive will be awarded the carrot, the immunity passport that might allow us to re-enter normal life.

What a deal.

We’re all immigrants, outsiders in our own country, faced with conditions we must fulfill, in order to be granted rights and privileges once again. So we can re-enter America.

Natural Liberty, Constitutional Liberty, gone.

Because this is a crisis, say the experts.

MORONS!

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from Mark Dice:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

No Fun Allowed

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from Mark Dice:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

White People are Awesome

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from Mr Reagan:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

Pfizer Releases Brand New, Never-Before-Seen Drug ‘Pfivermectin’

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from The Babylon Bee:

U.S.—After several successful rounds of trials and a quick overnight approval from the FDA, Pfizer proudly announced they will be releasing a brand new, never-before-seen COVID drug “Pfivermectin.”

“It’s important to understand that this drug is nothing like Ivermectin, even though Pfivermectin rhymes with Ivermectin and it pretty much does the exact same thing,” said Pfizer CEO Hans Pfizer. “Everyone knows Ivermectin is a widely discredited horse drug, and ours is not. Very important distinction there.”

There’s ANOTHER One!

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from Mark Dice:

TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/