from The Babylon Bee:

NEW YORK, NY — In a devastating blow for the defense, State Judge Juan Merchan has ordered Donald Trump to immediately cease noticing that the only people trying to put him in jail are Democrats.

“Quiet you!” Judge Merchan told Trump in court. “Stop mentioning that everyone in the legal system who is trying to imprison you just so happens to be a member of the Democrat party. It is completely irrelevant.”

“All instances of Trump noticing this fact will be met with serious legal consequences, which will be administered by Democrats.”