from The Babylon Bee:

U.S. — A new CNN report citing several anonymous sources claims Hunter Biden’s convictions on all 3 felonies today bear the distinct marks of Russian disinformation.

“Our expert, highly credible, expert, and very reliable expert anonymous sources from deep within the intelligence community have all said these convictions are likely the result of an elaborate disinformation campaign from Russia,” said CNN anchor Jim Acosta. “We urge the public to ignore these convictions until we have more details. Do not watch any news sources except CNN, as we are the only ones with this information. You can trust me, because I’m Jim Acosta.”