by Kurt Schlichter, Townhall:
Do you remember your stupid high school government teacher, that insipid left-leaning strange-o in the bad sport jacket who taught you that conservatives don’t want to change and liberals want change and blah blah blah? Good gosh, there’s nothing worse than the unionized hacks infesting our schools and filling empty skulls with nonsense. But enough about public education. The truth is that today’s conservatives do want change, and change is coming to our party. The new Republican Party is, as that desiccated old pervert masquerading as our president likes to say, not your father’s Republican Party. Thank goodness, because my father’s Republican Party was too often a bunch of sissy corporate lackeys who never met a war they didn’t want somebody else’s kids to fight.
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Yes, we’re changing, and that’s good. But look at the other party. They’re regressing. They’re the cutting edge of the neo-Bolshevik Revolution, except I will give this to Lenin’s crew – at least they knew which bathroom to use.
The GOP’s changes are illustrated by a couple of Veep candidates who I inexplicably overlooked in last week’s column on Trump’s potential vice presidential picks. Take JD Vance, the senator from Ohio, who is giving traditionalists fits because he dares to ask tough questions about Ukraine – and as a military guy who trained Ukrainians, I agree that we need to ask tough questions. The thing about JD Vance is that he’s from Ohio, like me, so he’s cool. But he’s also a self-identified hillbilly. His book, “Hillbilly Elegy,” about his life growing up poor, talks about people who at one time would’ve been Democrats. The Buick dealership owners and the sensible, sober bankers of the old-school Republican Party never saw somebody like JD Vance unless he was fixing or parking their car or caddying for them at Bushwood Country Club. But now JD is a senator, and they are busy setting fire to their money subsidizing Nikki Haley in a desperate attempt to turn back the clock to 2004.
Let’s apply the Schlichter Test to JD Vance. First, does he do any damage to the ticket? While Ohio is red, if he leaves the Senate that sparks an expensive and uncertain fight to keep that seat. That’s sub-optimal, but otherwise, he’s fine. He’s got no known weirdness. The only people who hate him are the elites, who feel this formerly-penniless upstart betrayed them by not being more grateful for being invited to join the ruling class. There’s nothing they hate more than an uppity peasant jumped up into a position of authority. Is he competent to be president? Sure. He’s a Marine, he’s smart, and he is undaunted by airplane stairways. Finally, does he bring anything to the ticket? That’s a little more complicated. Does he secure the working-class demographic? It worked in Ohio, but Ohio has been trending red, so it’s unclear if that aspect mattered much. We don’t need him to bring us Ohio.
