All I Want for Christmas

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by Donald Jeffries, “I Protest” :

This has always been my favorite time of the year. It’s “the most wonderful time,” as the holiday favorite tells us. Even with all the changes dealt to us as we age, I still feel the magic at Christmastime. Everyone is as kind as they’re going to be. Everyone is as generous as they’re going to be. And most of us celebrate the birth of our Savior.

I like the glitz and the bright lights. The secular part of the holidays is just fine with me. Sure, it’s commercialized, but we live in a commercialized society. I don’t complain when the Christmas stuff appears in stores right after Halloween. I think it’s great that people are putting their trees and lights up earlier than ever. I just wish they’d leave them up longer.

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My mother couldn’t bear to part with our yearly live tree, and kept it up until February. I am just like her. I always felt sorrow when carting the tree out to the curb. In my house as an adult, this usually meant a ten-footer. That’s one of the most curious parts of my personality. I abhor goodbyes. Of any kind. Even when it’s a Christmas tree.

Christmas music is as good at it gets. I don’t go to malls any more. Maybe they still have holiday music piped in for shoppers. The glorious Christmas carols seem as out of place as a romantic poet in America 2.0. If you aren’t moved hearing timeless works like Hark the Herald Angels Sing or O’ Come All Ye Faithful, then your spirit is dead. I also love the modern alternative, comical pieces like Santa’s Gone Surfing or Glory to the Store Displays. And I still miss David Letterman’s yearly visit from Darlene Love, singing her classic Christmas (Baby Please Come Home). My favorite Christmas music can make me forget the JFK assassination, or 9/11, or the COVID psyop. Even John Lennon’s Happy Christmas, the War is Over. Beautiful song. Beautiful sentiments.

My mother gave me the best Christmases she could. She spoiled me rotten. It’s hard not to love being spoiled. I remember one Christmas I got something like twenty new Hardy Boys books. But I never got a pony. Or that Ludwig drum set I asked for every year. As I noted, I was very spoiled. My poor brother Ricky received hardly any presents. This wasn’t because my mother wanted to shortchange him. He just had no interests at all. Ever. So she’d buy him a lot of underwear, socks, clothes- the stuff most kids hate to get. And chocolate covered cherries. I don’t really think Ricky even liked them, but I guess he said he did once, and so mother always made sure to get him some. And we continued the tradition later. I’d sometimes find a box of them untouched months later at his apartment. It was a struggle to get something he liked.

My wife spoils me, too. She is the queen of festivity. She gets excited about things like national popcorn day, so you know she loves Christmas. Our house always looks like a Christmas store inside. I find Christmas decorations beautiful, and relaxing. We always gave our kids indulgent Christmases. I don’t know how many parents are like me, but I had somewhat of a second (and much better) childhood with my kids at Christmas. I was nearly as excited to see what new videogames or movies they’d get, as they were. Secular Christmas is built around children. It’s not the same without some little tots around to trigger the magic again in the grownups. The ‘90s were the last gasp of America 1.0, and I’m glad my children experienced a part of them.

But as a 67 year old man, depressed over the sorry state of the world, it’s not easy to write up a Christmas list. As least with any enthusiasm. I used to come up with some lengthy ones in my youth. I’ll get plenty of stuff, from my wife and kids, my brother-in-law, and sisters. Gift certificates. Clothes. Different kinds of trail mix. Various sea salts and condiments. I use a lot of salt and pepper. Old Bay. A-1 sauce. Vege-Sal. I like my food seasoned. I might get a book, even though I really don’t have time to read them any more, or a DVD. I stopped asking for a pony or a drum set. I’m too old to be a drummer now, anyhow. Maybe I’ll pick up my guitar and start playing again.

My own petty concerns don’t amount to a hill of beans, to quote a line from what I consider one of the most overrated films of all time. But that is a good line. Thinking of the big picture, I’d like to see a lot of things. My Christmas list for the world would start with peace. Everywhere. As the greatest antiwar president we ever had, John F. Kennedy, put it, not merely peace in our time, but peace for all time. Pull the plug on Israel’s lifeline. Demand that they stop killing civilians, who clearly aren’t part of any “Hamas,” “Hezbolah,” or whatever new Hollywoodish name they’ve created. Maybe tell them they’ll be a “peace bonus,” if they create a two state solution, and let the Palestinians alone. After that, they’re on their own. Israel is nearly eighty years old now. It’s long past time for them to leave the U.S. taxpayer’s financial nest.

Santa, make them extend a diplomatic branch to Vladimir Putin. He’s the only strong White leader left in the world. The only one not working against the interests of those who look like him. Don’t give Zelensky another penny. Shame him publicly for shutting down all political opposition and newspapers critical of him. I’d like some comedians to ridicule his Boris Badenov-voice, and his pretense at being a soldier. I wouldn’t object if they made fun of his diminutive height. Maybe redefine exactly what “democracy” means. Whatever it is, it isn’t what this ridiculous actor/comedian is doing in Ukraine. I’d love to see a few of those Freedom Caucus members recite George Washington’s Farewell Address on the floor of Congress. You know, the one that condemns “entangling foreign alliances.” From the Father of our Country.

Domestically, I wish for the immediate release of the political prisoners in Washington, D.C., an unknown number of them languishing behind bars for almost three years, denied all due process. How about that promised congressional panel led by the Freedom Caucus members? Air all the video, especially where the police waved the “insurrectionists” inside the Capitol. Start treating these egregious slanders- insurrectionist, traitor, terrorist, Nazi, White Supremacist, like the “n” word. Take offense. Complain. Correct the “Woke” lunatics who cavalierly fling these dangerous labels around so freely. Sane people who value human liberty should have the right to be outraged too. There is a lot to be outraged about in America 2.0.

I’d like to see a real opposition, with large public platforms. Leaders who bristle at the term “hate speech” like the “Woke” lunatics do at the “n” word and countless other “offensive” comments. Who would instantly point out that it should be called what it is: thought crime. Campaign against the Orwellian term itself, and point out how it is incompatible with any concept of free speech. “Hate speech,” “gaslighting,” “dog whistle,” “coded language,” all these “Woke” terms invalidate the First Amendment, if we roll over and permit them to be accepted and implemented. Never let those kinds of ridiculous trigger words go unchallenged.

Santa, please give me a full audit of the Federal Reserve. It has been 110 years, after all. And statesmen who explain to the people that our banking system is legalized counterfeiting. Give us a new, honest money system, that doesn’t permit bankers to create money out of thin air, and then lend it (at interest) to hapless borrowers, who can be shamed and foreclosed on if they fail to pay back something that the lender never actually possessed. Maybe the Catholic church will restore its centuries-old decree that usury- lending money at interest- is a mortal sin. I’ve been advocating for a Year of Jubilee for much of my life. Nobody else is. It’s Biblical, but again it’s just one of many parts of the Bible that the devout ignore.

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