from The Babylon Bee:

EL PASO, TX — Amid a mounting surge of illegal immigration, the Biden Administration is sending 1,500 National Guard troops to the border to help them register to vote.

“Yes, the people who tell me what to do all the time told me this is needed,” said Biden to an ice cream cone. “And If I don’t do what they tell me I don’t get any snacks! No, that’s no joke! Seriously, someone help me! Where am I?”