from The Babylon Bee:

DERRY, NH — After an intense competition, the winner of a local Miss America beauty pageant for a college scholarship was revealed to be the Patriarchy.

Brían Nguyen, the male winner who left twelve female competitors in the dust, accepted his prize on behalf of oppressive, dominating males everywhere. “I’m a beautiful lady! See? I shave my legs and stuff!” growled the 250-pound behemoth of a male. “I’m proud to show the world that men are better at being women than women are. Chalk up one more point for the patriarchy! WOOOOOOOOOO!”