from The Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Things got tense in the White House briefing room today after several journalists in the press pool asked Jean-Pierre to answer some questions.

“Listen here — it’s not my job to stand here and answer your questions all day like some sort of press secretary,” said Jean-Pierre while furiously flipping through her 3-ring binder to find a pre-written comeback that would shut the journalists down once and for all. “For goodness’ sake, I’m a human being, not some wind-up toy or magic 8-ball you can shake up and ask whatever question you want to! What do you take me for? A member of the White House communications team?”