from The Babylon Bee:

U.S. — Americans are up in arms after a Chinese high-altitude spy balloon was seen hovering over sensitive nuclear sites in Montana. Biden was quick to quell fears, vowing to shoot down the hostile balloon as soon as he’s done letting it spy.

“Listen folks, that balloon came a long way to do a little spyin’,” said Biden in a meeting with military leaders. “Would be a shame to shoot the poor thing down before it even gets a chance to take some pictures! I remember when me and the boys used to spy on Suzie Anne McGillicutty through her bedroom window after a long day of protesting the civil rights movement. It’s all in good fun, folks!”