by Alex Berenson, Unreported Truths:
The white male villains and everyone-else heroes, the global warming speeches, the people-of-color pep talks – they’re so deep in studio DNA now we hardly notice. Until we do.
(A short break from our regularly scheduled programming on the crisis in medicine, though not entirely, as you’ll see.)
Like all nine-year-old boys, my son loves dinosaurs.
So last night we went to Jurassic World Rebirth, the 372nd installment in the Jurassic Park series. Actually, it was decent entertainment. Seeing 200-foot tall creatures on a big screen is a reminder of why leaving the house for the movies is worth the trouble.
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But along the way Rebirth’s diversity Easter eggs piled up, until by the end I needed a woke cholesterol cleanse. Rebirth turned out more like Snow White than I expected, only without Rachel Zegler1 to stick my face in it.2
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(Sticking my face in it so you don’t have to.3 For pennies a day.)
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What exactly do I mean?
(Spoilers ahead, obviously. Like a lot.)
Still ahead…
Okay, you’ve been warned.
Rebirth is basically a heist movie, Ocean’s 11 but for dinosaur blood. A drug company executive named Krebs wants dinosaur DNA to create a medicine that will cure heart disease and be worth “trillions.”4
Besides working for Big Pharma, Krebs is a white guy and wears sunglasses a lot, so the odds are not with him. He hires Zora, a badass (female) mercenary,5 to put together a diverse gang and take him to the dinosaur island.
So far so good.
Nearby, Reuben, a Hispanic (sorry, Latinx) father, is sailing across the Atlantic with his daughters and the older daughter’s boyfriend, Xavier, who’s also Hispanic and seems to be a ne’er-do-well stoner. Ocean dinosaurs attack and capsize Reuben’s sailboat, but Kinkaid — the (black) captain of the raiding ship — disregards an order from Krebs (still white) and rescues the family.
Then the dinosaurs attack the raiding ship. The only white male mercenary, Atwater6, a trigger-happy type who has already explained how much he loves shooting suspects, I mean dinosaurs, shoots a couple and then gets eaten. Bye, Atwater! He deserved it, though, he was very squinty besides being trigger-happy.
Then Zora tells Teresa, the older Hispanic daughter, (Is she an immigrant? Who can say, but probably! Though aren’t we all immigrants, really?) to radio a mayday.
But Krebs grabs the radio out of her hand. He would rather die than let Merck get the dinosaur DNA before his company! Employee of the month, amirite?
Then he pushes Teresa and she falls out of the cabin and hangs off the side of the ship and begs him for help. But Krebs doesn’t help, he lets Teresa fall into the water filled with ravenous dinosaurs. What’s one Hispanic teenager, even a pretty one, against a couple trillion dollars in market cap?
But then Xavier jumps off the boat to save her. See, he’s not just a stoner, he’s a descendant of the Incas who once ruled this land and sea or lands and seas nearby before Columbus and the original white colonialists came7 and replaced the peaceful Incas.8
Are you starting to see the subtle ways in which Jurassic World Rebirth doesn’t portray white men in the finest possible light?
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