Mr. Trumpenstein Returns to Washington

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by Donald Jeffries, “I Protest”:

As I’ve said many times, when Donald Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016, I stopped making any more political predictions. I would have bet every penny of my modest net worth that the Queen of the Swamp would be rewarded for her years of loyal criminal service. A lifetime achievement if ever there was one.

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The photo above reveals a smiling Melania Trump. We’ve been told that she is unhappy with her energetic but elderly husband. Persistent rumors of divorce. Maybe she misses being First Lady, even with all the unfairly negative press. Barron Trump is shown towering over his 6 foot 3 inch father. He is almost certainly taller than his last reported height of 6 foot 7. Maybe he can play in the NBA. If LeBron James can force the league to play his eminently unqualified son, why not Trump? Barron’s a lot taller than Bronny James, and may well be a better basketball player. But he is White. Trump is possibly the first U.S. president who actually looks better eight years after he first took office. The office is known to rapidly age its occupants. But not Trumpenstein. He’s lost weight, and still has that orange glow. His hair has changed in some indeterminate way, but seems to look a little more natural. He looks fit for the job.

I expected a close race. Nip and tuck. Down to the wire. Fantastic finish. And lots of controversy. I thought that, regardless of what happened, millions of Americans would be outraged and distrust the results. There were many early indications that 2024 would just as openly rigged as 2020 was. I saw lots of videos of citizens reporting on the shenanigans they’d witnessed. One guy said they made him vote from his car, brought the machine out to him, and pushed the buttons for him. Democracy in action. There were inexplicable power outages, including at least one scheduled power outage. At a polling place. On Election Day. As always, the marvelous electronic voting machines were breaking down. The clowns in charge of the polling places somehow ran out of basic supplies. One judge-never identified, and certain never to be reprimanded- didn’t show up as scheduled to one polling place, and because of this untold numbers of people were forced to wait hours before rocking the vote.

With all the hints from the likes of The New York Times, which informed us that taking days or even weeks to count the votes was not an indication of fraud, I expected it to be days before we found out which candidate had been installed. I waited for the counting to stop, as it did in 2020, for no logical reason. As a certified oldster, I’ve been around for a lot of elections. Except for 2000, where the delay involved a dispute in one Florida county, Americans have always known who the next president will be either late on election night, or by the next morning at worst. So they really fooled me. Trump dominated the vote almost everywhere. Even where he lost, his totals were higher than they were in 2020 (and 2016). And he even won the popular vote, the first Republican to do so since 1988. I didn’t think it was possible for any Republican to win the popular vote in the diverse and crumbling America 2.0.

So I prepared for some must see TV. I figured that there would be lots of screaming, weeping and gnashing of teeth. Perhaps an on-air suicide or homicide. Rachel Maddow? Joy Reid? The lovely ladies on The View? There had to be a lot of entertainment there. But instead, the response was shockingly muted. I think the breadth of Trump’s genuine landslide just knocked the wind out of them. They all appeared to be in shock, as if they’d received definitive proof that they would one day be judged by the Almighty they don’t believe in. I didn’t want somber. I wanted insane outrage. Pussy hat/transgender level madness. But I just haven’t seen it. Sunny Hostin tried her best, attributing the results to White America, and now Black and Hispanic men, not wanting a Woman of Color to lead them. But it wasn’t convincing. Her heart wasn’t in it. She’s played the race card louder and more irrationally many times before.

On Tik Tok, things were far more entertaining. A prevailing theme from young deranged White women was that Trump’s victory somehow triggered a general sex strike. No copulation for you! A few bitterly claimed that if men thought this meant that they would now want to get married and have babies, they were sorely mistaken. We’ll show you, Trump! Just try to make us have children! I’m sure this sex strike doesn’t apply to all the other invented “genders.” Just “transition” and you can have some kind of sex. With someone. It just won’t result in any pregnancy. Somehow, I don’t see all this resulting in a new day for Incels. I think you’ll be seeing more and more young men “going their own way.” Too many young women have lost their minds. Even if they’re not overweight, tattooed, or green haired, they can be dangerous. Remember, tigers are beautiful creatures. Just don’t sleep with them.

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