The New Third World Normal In America: On Gardening, Animal Control, And Eating Cats

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from Silver Doctors:

At the rate the socio-economic collapse of the United States is going, it won’t be long before people find out if cat tastes like chicken…

(by Half Dollar) While cutting the grass one day about a month ago, I noticed a clump of bird feathers in the back yard.

Poor fella.

A couple of weeks ago, one day when I was also cutting the grass, I noticed some guts and intestines and whatnot in the back yard.

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Poor other fella.

Last week, I saw a random cat creeping on the side of my neighbor’s house.

The cat disappeared into some shrubs, I heard a squeal, and out popped the cat with a mole wiggling in its mouth.

Poor other fella, again.

So I started to keep my eye on that cat.

A couple of days later, my wife saw the cat, and this time the cat was walking in a front yard across the street, and there was a small animal in the cat’s mouth.

Poor other fella again, again.

I noticed the cat has a really interesting range of about ten or fifteen houses, houses which are built on lots of about one-quarter of an acre each, but I’m not sure exactly who the cat belongs to.

The cat does have a collar, but I’ve never seen the collar up close.

Interestingly, I have not seen the cat in the last several days, and it’s not that I’m some kind of paranoid wacko who can’t stop looking out of his windows, but rather, I’ve been active in our yard and very observant of the wildlife in particular because it is growing season and I want to make sure my garden does very well this year.

Needless to say, my family is already eating food from the garden, such as these freshly picked strawberries (please excuse my lousy photography skills):

In the humble back yard garden, there are signs of the first green bell pepper coming in, the jalapenos will hopefully be big & spicy, and not only are the two tomato plants doing well, but about ten tomato plants just kind of sprouted on their own and grew like weeds from last year’s tomatoes.

Woot!

So our garden is doing really, really well, but then again, I am smart enough to live in an area of the country that is so super-duper fertile and the weather conditions are so ultra-favorable that even an idiot like me can grow food when he’s not even trying, so there’s that too.

A few days ago, my wife and I noticed four kittens playing by the fence in the back yard, on our neighbor’s side, playing as kittens do.

The kittens had no collars, and then all of the sudden it dawned on us: The cat had been hunting all of those animals to feed its kittens!

Now, a couple of nights ago, I went out to do some pruning and watering and stuff in our garden, and I saw that a huge strawberry had a huge bite taken out of it, and the berry was lying on top of the garden bed next to a freshly dug mole’s hole.

You see, I must admit, embarrassingly, that I’m still learning a lot about gardening, and so is my wife, and I was so focused on our strawberries not getting eaten by the rabbits from the sides or by the birds from above that I neglected to think about the potential for theft from below.

Dang moles!

I covered up the mole’s hole, I was kind of bummed because that strawberry was really robust, and the next morning I went out to assess the damage.

In my estimation, we lost about 10 strawberries that night from the mole eating them, baby strawberries too, and so began my quest to deal with a problem that I didn’t really have last year, and I was about to buy some Juicy Fruit gum, because as far as I can tell, that’s the best way to get rid of garden moles, with perhaps the exception of killing them directly myself, of course, which I’d rather not do.

Regardless, I check on the garden a couple of times each day, including tending to it every night as needed, and just last night as my wife and I were about to go outside, we noticed one of the kittens beside our garden, tracking what was obviously a mole tunnel in the yard, and the young cat was smelling the yard closely as if a mole was tunneling at that very moment.

And then all of the sudden, out pops another one of the kittens from underneath our deck!

And then another!

Yikes!

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