from The Babylon Bee:
A lot of people have been emailing us asking what our best tips for getting great deals on Black Friday are. We don’t blame them, because we are the best source for real news and life advice. Well, we have one great tip this year for Black Friday: skip out on the deals entirely, and just wait a few weeks for the next peaceful protest. One is bound to pop up before Christmas. You’ll really be kicking yourself if you spend $300 on a TV today, only for it to be 100% off the next time there is something to protest in the name of social justice or whatever.
So, exercise some patience, and you’ll get that Xbox, PlayStation, TV, or Lego set for nothing — plus, you’ll get to virtue-signal how much you care about social justice! Hooray!