from The Babylon Bee:
BELL CANYON, CA—According to sources, Hollywood celebrities have courageously united under an inspiring new movement to show respect for black lives. Entitled the #BurnYourHouseDown movement, celebrities such as Alyssa Milano, Jimmy Kimmel, and John Legend have volunteered to relinquish their power and privilege by burning their houses and everything they have to the ground.
The organizer of this movement released the following statement on Twitter: “Your homes, your riches, and your toys are built on a foundation of white supremacy. They are forever tainted by racism. Your walls and security systems have shut out the voices of the oppressed. Join us. Stand with us. #BurnYourHouseDown!”
As the provocative hashtag began trending on Twitter, rich celebrities lept into action. Alyssa Milano employed her house servants to light torches and throw them through her broken windows. Jimmy Kimmel hired Instagram models to jump on trampolines while throwing Molotov cocktails into his front door.
Black Lives Matter protestors gathered to watch the flames as they engulfed the multimillion-dollar homes. With tears in their eyes, they joined hands with celebrities and sang John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ as the massive monuments to white supremacy toppled to the ground.
Local news stations reported that twelve local housekeeping and landscaping businesses have been put out of work due to the #BurnYourHouseDown movement, but it’s a small price to pay for the “change we need.”
The twelve small business owners then moved to Texas and built mansions of their own.