by David Collum, Peak Prosperity:
“Opportunities don’t happen; you create them.”
We are now transitioning from economics and markets to the political and social events of 2018. As noted at the outset, I have over a hundred pages of quotes, notes, and anecdotes about Trump, Russian collusion, and the nefarious activities going on in the Deep State. It has grown progressively harder to wrap my brain around what I am actually witnessing. I can no longer write a chapter or two. I may be able to write a book, but certainly not in the months of November or December. It is what it is. I have focused on what catches my eye and what is achievable.
Random topics that come across my field of view that I capture are loosely defined as “Human Achievement”. Who could forget the heroics in Thailand as cave divers saved the Thai soccer team?ref 394 Buddhist teachings by their coach helped them cope with stress and lower their oxygen intake for two weeks. Two heroic cave divers found them.ref 395 Divers from around the world suffering from toxic masculinity—no pussy hats or man buns on those guys—pulled them out. Meanwhile, Elon Musk was show boating with a useless submarine and calling one of the heroes a pedophileref 396 and then gets sued.ref 397
Although watching sports is too time consuming for me, I catch a lot on the fly. 2018 had some unlikely sports heroes. A 36-year-old accountant, Scott Foster, was called to play goalie for the Winnepeg Jets. The night before he was playing rec league for “Johnny’s Icehouse” and probably did so the following weekend. On that one memorable night, however, he played 14 scoreless minutes in the Big League.ref 398 A 32-year old rookie got called up to play for the LA Lakers, came off the bench, and drained 19 points.ref 399 (It’s not quite like those six three-pointers by the autistic kid,ref 400 but it’s still amazing.) The winning Superbowl coach was coaching high school football nine years earlier.ref 401 (Trivia point: years ago, Cornell fired one of a long string of marginally successful football coaches. He was George Seiferth. You can’t get talent into the Ivies.) The Boss of the sports world was an approximately 12-year-old fan who, when handed a game ball by the infielder, had the smarts to give it to a seriously hot chick sitting behind him… but not before switching it with the ball he bought from Dicks Sporting Goods.ref 402 That’s metagame.
The PyongChang Olympics had six Cornell alums (mostly women’s hockey).ref 403 In my opinion, women’s hockey is as good to watch as men’s hockey. Meanwhile, American Elizabeth Swaney achieved everybody’s dream by competing for Hungary in the half pipe while being awful—seriously wretchedly bad.ref 404 She spotted a seam in the rules that qualified her for the Olympics by amassing top-30 finishes at international events. She traveled the world competing in all half-pipe competitions with fewer than 30 entrants.ref 405
Other bulletable achievements included:
- Tiger won his first tournament since 2013. It’s all about redemption.
- Jordan Bohannan tied Chris Street’s University of Iowa record for most consecutive free throws, 34, that had withstood two decades. Chris had died in a car accident 3 days after graduation. Bohannan, stepping up to the line to set a new record, looked at his brother in the stands, bonked it against the iron, and pointed to the sky: “It was not my record to have.” Superheroes don’t always wear capes. I am tearing while I type.ref 406
- In March madness, #16 seeded UMBC beat #1 seed University of Virginia 74–54, busting every March Madness Bracket in the World.ref 407
- Drexel came back from a 34-point deficit, setting a new comeback record for Division I basketball.ref 408
- LA Tech football team lost 87 yards in a single play.ref 409
- Watch this kid play catcher; you wouldn’t notice if I didn’t tell you he has only one arm.ref 410(hotlink) I hope he applies to Cornell.
“I think the question we have to ask ourselves is this: What is the right way to behave to honor our sport and to respect our opponents?”
~Martina Navratilova, returning Serena Williams’ serve
And then there were the darker moments. Serena Williams reached hero status by delivering her latest kid and in the blink of an eye making it to the finals of the US Open Singles Championship.ref 411 In the final match, however, a serious shitfit at the line judge put a dark smudge on the game. The authorities kowtowed (which is a Chinese term that translates to “acted like pussies”), causing much of the glory to be taken away from the winner, Naomi Osaka.ref 412 It wasn’t Williams’ first outburst.ref 413
And for some more Bullets from the Dark Side:
- Phil Michelson six putted (if you include the two-stroke penalty for whacking a moving ball) and then claimed (admitted) it was tactical to avoid an even worse outcome.ref 414 The Mets signed him because he could hit a moving ball.
- USA Gymnastics admitted it had more coverups of pedophilia than the Catholic Church.ref 415
- Khabib Nurmagomedov—Khabib for short and for obvious reasons—beat Conor McGregor in the UFC. (Khabibe literally wrestled grizzly bears as a kid,ref 416 so it was not a shock.) Risk was brought to a new level when a huge and arguably most dangerous sports brawl in history broke out.ref 417
- A Russian curler was charged with doping using a well-tracked substance.ref 418 Something is fishy…so many questions.
- Another female Russian Olympian donning a shirt stating, “I don’t do doping” tested positive for doping.ref 419
- Nigerian soccer star Emmanuel Eminike divorced Miss Nigeria 2013 to marry Miss Nigeria 2014.ref 420
- The first zero-emissions solar-powered boat is said to be circumnavigating the globe this year.ref 412Correct me if I am wrong but one of Magellan’s zero-emissions wind-powered boats made it around some time back. Contrary to popular opinion, Magellan did not.
“The art world is the biggest joke going. It’s a rest home for the overprivileged, the pretentious, and the weak.”
Away from sports, Banksy punked the art world when, seconds after the auction gavel fell on one of his $1 million paintings, a mechanism hidden in the frame shredded it.ref 422 The art world punked him back by declaring the painting’s value just doubled.ref 423 A guy jumped from 25,000 feet without a parachute and landed “safely” in a net.ref 424 Another got the coveted hat trick when, after having been mauled by a bear and bitten by a rattlesnake, he got attacked by a shark.ref 425 While astronomers recorded the first video from the surface of an asteroid,ref 426 others identified a new type of aurora and named it “Steve”.ref 427 Watch this girl playing a concerto on the violin with a prosthetic arm connected from her collar bone.ref 428 That is toxic femininity! This woman piloting a passenger jet has the engine blow off the plane and blew a hole in the plane sucking a passenger out. She displayed nerves of steel.ref 429(hotlink)
If you dig long and hard, you eventually find the bottom of the barrel. A couple raised $400,000 for a homeless vet and just squandered it before the courts could intervene.ref 430 The author of “How to Murder Your Husband” was arrested for allegedly murdering her husband.ref 431 A man who thought he was possessed by crocodile hunter Steve Irwin was arrested for tranquilizing and raping alligators.ref 432
In the non-hominid division, Beadnose (Bear #409) displayed impressive salmon-sourced cellulite, toppling the reigning champ, Otis (Bear #480), in Alaska’s 2018 Fat Bear Championship (Figure 46).ref 433 The Flying Dog Championship witnessed a new jumping world record of 31 feet.ref 434 I’d like to see Beadnose try that.
Figure 46. Beadnose Bear at top feeding weight.
Had to save two for last. Ten players and two coaches of the Humboldt Broncos Youth Hockey Team coming from Humboldt, Saskatchewan were killed in a bus crash.ref 435 They were dominant on the ice. GoFundMe raised a $15 million memorial fund,ref 436 but I don’t know how that town of 5,578 inhabitants will recover. RIP boys. (I’m tearing again.) Keep it in perspective folks.
You know all those fires in Boston that lit simultaneously due to an over-pressurized gas line (without a peep from the news questioning terrorism)?ref 437 My son was at the “red dot” chatting with me on the phone when they started. Like I said, keep it perspective.
“I know what it means to know something, and it’s hard.”
~Richard Feynman, physicist
Every year nature takes a bat to us in predictable and not-so-predictable ways. I have long stayed away from the global warming (or climate change, whatever) debate just because it is too rancorous, and I have little to offer. I once told the Secretary of Energy I was agnostic. After cleaning snot off my glasses I explained that I had not put in the 10,000 hours needed to form an educated opinion. For that matter, few have. Thus, all my colleagues in science with relatively few exceptions will sign off on the notion of anthropomorphic global warming with what is a vote of confidence in their scientific brethren but inadequate self study, providing an overstated scientific consensus. Here’s what I will say. There are highly credible scientists on both sides now, not just whackadoodles looking for ten minutes of fame. I was shocked when I started Googling some of the deniers on this list to find out they they are both prominent and disbelievers.ref 438 Let me be equally clear because I am a wuss and so you don’t hang some PC label on my sorry butt:
If I had to bet a paycheck, I would bet anthropogenic global warming is real. If I had to bet ten paychecks, I would bet that we are going to do the experiment despite the best intentions of those who worry. Resource depletion is what scares me.
Let me make one important point: you can’t watch the weather or make any anecdotal observations and say, “See. I told you so. You guys are full of crap.” You sound like an idiot to anybody who is not an idiot (unless you are being a snarky punk, which is fine). Hundreds of hurricanes have hit North America in the last century; nothing says the last 20 are anthropogenic. Snow in October and warm days in January mean nothing:
“This week in 1936, North Dakota was 121 degrees. This week in 1913, California was 134 degrees. This week in 1901, hundreds of New Yorkers died in the streets from the heat.”
The warming trend, even if raging and eventually creates wind chill factors of 114 °F, is well inside the detection limits of simple human observation. With 365 days in a year, 100 years in a century, and more metrics of weather than pregnant teenagers, do you know how easy it is to break an all-time record? Those who claim to see patterns are being Fooled by Randomness. And the celebrities all know there is global warming. Remember when the star in TV medical drama “Quincy, M.E.”, Jack Klugman, testified to Congress about health care? Most celebrities are idiots as are members of Congress. Why do you think they didn’t study robotics or bioengineering? Only good science supported by good data analysis can tease signal from the noise. And what may prove to be the most ironic part of the global warming debate is that NASA scientists have found that a “big crack opened in the Earth’s magnetic field and plasma started pouring in.”ref 439 Meanwhile, a disturbing lack of sun spots and solar flares suggest an impending mini ice age is coming.ref 440 “Men plan, God laughs” or as Emily Litella would say, “Never mind.”